The Convention Chiefs

FDIC and Firehouse Expo are coming up and that means a bunch of fat bastard chiefs will show up from small towns in Texas, New york and Goatfuck, Idaho. They'll give lectures to men who have seen more fire in one tour than they see in 20 years.

Last year this one boy from a department in Texas called me brother. Now he was talking about pride in the damn job and was calling me brother. He weighed about 350 pounds. He don't need to call me brother, he needs to call Jenny Craig. My brothers can crawl down the hall and grab me. "Pride" boy is out of breath wiping cheese from his second chin.

Anyway, I'm all about the brotherhood but just bouncing around from department to department is what most of these asshats do or they are chiefs in places that don't see 20,000 alarms a year. Where can you apply any thing you learned? They should be called JV Chiefs.

Another boy runs around to all the conventions talking about how his instructors are the best. The boy is on Old Buck's department and word around the smoking ruins is that the boy runs at the first sign of fire.

I'll go with the brothers to the conferences and we will find one of these small town chiefs and scare him. It's the only fun a brother can have.